The Story of the Geordie Pantsman

I was watching TV one night and saw this guy on Rude Tube setting a world record for putting on the most t-shirts and thought ’I could do something like that’said Whitburn resident Gary Craig. However, t-shirts seemed boring and potentially expensive so I came up with the idea of underpants and an alter ego ‘Geordie Pantsman’. Not to be confused with the Australian slang, Gary explains…At school I was always second best at sport, the unused substitute on the football team standing in the freezing cold for two hours. At the age of 51 I decided I wanted to be number 1 at something.

I investigated whether there was a world record for putting on the most pants, but couldn’t find one. Great I thought, I’ll just bang on 50 pairs or so, and establish a new Guinness record with ease. But in 2009 I was informed that there was a record of someone putting on 170 pairs of underpants so I set out to put on 190.

What happened when you contacted Guinness ? The Guinness rules were actually quite strict. You had to wear ‘y’ fronts, not boxer shorts, you had to do it in a relatively public place, film and photograph it, and obtain witness statements otherwise you had to pay thousands of pounds to have a Guinness adjudicator present.

I began buying the cheapest underpants available in a variety of sizes including the biggest pants available in the UK  – 60 inch waist, and I decided to attempt the record on April Fools Day 2010 so no one would know if it was a joke or not.

I had a friend with a t-shirt printing company who allowed me to get a name, a photo, or a message printed on the pants so basically sold advertising space on my backside. Encouraging friends, family, and local business people to sponsor me, with the highest amounts earning a space on the biggest, record breaking pants.

In the end I raised £3000 which was split between two local charities – Cancer Connections and a drop in centre for the unemployed and underprivileged in South Tyneside.

Did you rehearse your record attempt ? Yes but in truth, practise went very badly. I found that I didn’t have enough big pants. I wasn’t that slim and it became painful trying to squeeze into large numbers of underpants. My wife got the job of arranging pants in the correct order and would sit for ages putting pants over her knees ready to slip on.

 

Where did you hold the event ? I agreed to attempt the record in Dusk Nightclub, South Shields with around 150 friends and family as witnesses – there was no turning back. The way it works with Guinness is that there may be other people attempting the record elsewhere in the world so you get updated on any new record that has been set shortly before your attempt.

Literally a week before my attempt I was informed that a new record had just been set in Australia and I was now going to need to beat 190 pairs! I only had 190 pairs of pants in total and it was too late to order any of the really big ones so I had to go out and buy whatever I could.

April 1st came around very quickly. Dusk opened the bar early and DJ Wayne whipped the crowd into a frenzy. He thought it would be fun for me to come on to the tune Eye of the Tiger in true ‘Rocky’ style. Once the attempt started everyone had to count the pairs as I put them on with the DJ announcing who was sponsoring each pair. There was fantastic support in the room as I reached 211 pairs – every pair of underpants I owned!

There was a nervous wait over many weeks whilst all the evidence was collected, submitted to Guinness and scrutinised. Finally I received the e-mail I was waiting for – a Guinness world record and I was finally number 1 at something.

How long did you hold the record ? In truth it didn’t even last long enough to make that year’s Guinness Records book. Within a few months an American woman had taken the record to 249. I had a problem with that as she was stick thin and appeared to have used woman’s knickers which don’t have the same thickness or elastication, but you can’t really call for a steward’s enquiry with Guinness.

In any case I had other distractions. My film crew had a few TV connections and next thing I knew footage of the record was being used as a question on Have I Got News For You! More importantly for me, I was contacted by Rude Tube and appeared on the Ultimate Champions top 50 internet clips of the year, and the Rude Tube film crew came to my house to do a special feature for the Rude Tube Xmas DVD.

In 2011 I was approached by Britain’s Got Talent production team and devised a comedy routine that involved plastering the judges faces over my crouch! The audition was so funny the cameraman couldn’t keep the camera still for laughing. I appeared in front of the judges at that time – Amanda Holden, Michael McIntyre, and David Hasselhoff. I was buzzed off, but they filmed the Geordie Pantsman for hours backstage.

Without any prior notice they gave my details to The Sun newspaper and the Geordie Pantsman became the main feature of a 2 page spread billed as potentially the craziest person ever to appear on BGT! I was advertised for a few seconds in trailers for the show, but Geordie Pantsman ended up ‘on the cutting room floor’! With my new back story further TV opportunities followed.

I appeared on Britains Best Dish, presenting Mary Nightingale with a pair of underpants bearing the BBD logo, and on a little known program called The Great British Taste Tour where I won £1000, the only money I ever got from my ‘career’ as the Pantsman.

The Media seemed to have caught the Pantsman bug….I’m convinced that had I appeared on BGT as promised I would have become world famous. In 2012 I was asked to appear on a world records based show for NIPPON TV in Japan. Their programs typically have around 20,000,000 viewers so I knew that world domination was again beckoning Geordie Pantsman, only for it to be called off days before I was due to be flown out for filming.

Similar situations arose for a number of new and existing TV shows including Russell Howards Good News where I was lined up to appear then discarded at the last minute like a pair of used pants!

Was that the end for Pantsman ? No I decided to give the record one last go. I was going to smash it – set a record that would be almost impossible to beat and get it out of my system once and for all! I contacted Guinness again and through a friend was given permission to make another attempt at the record in the Great North Run Finishers Marquee in front of 1000+ people. I got a personal trainer to help lose weight and I bought the largest pants available in such large quantities that the manufacturers were virtually giving them to me.

Guinness had made the rules even more complicated – they basically expected you to get the Local Mayor to witness your attempt, with an independent ‘expert’ witness. How do you find an expert at putting on underpants ? I ended up using an Accountant who was taking part in the Great North Run. This record attempt was pure craziness!

In the marquee we had a small stage roped off and as the tent started to fill up I had to wait to see whether my independent adjudicator was going to finish the run. He duly arrived while local band The Gaslighters and that bloke off Emmerdale who also sang in a band kept the crowd entertained. They would stop at regular intervals to let the crowd know how I was doing. But a Gazette reporter interrupted the cameraman when he was supposed to be counting the pants, one or two pairs got twisted and had to come off then be put back on again so by the time I’d finished no one knew how many pants I’d put on.

I always tried to pull up as many of the underpants as possible until they became impossible to reach, at which point my wife would help to pull them past my knees. In bending over some slipped down and I ended looking like a Subbuteo player.

I had to pile the slightly warm, sweaty pants in a corner for my accountant friend to count and finally came up with the official figure of 302. I submitted the usual evidence to Guinness in full confidence that I had totally smashed the world record.

Weeks later I received my reply. Even though there was no rule about how far you had to pull the pants up Guinness had decided that I hadn’t met ‘the spirit of the record’ as I hadn’t pulled the pants up far enough. To say I was gutted was an understatement – the pants were just under my knees, well clear of the floor, and there’s a limit to how far up they can go.

Did you appeal against the decision ? I thought about an appeal, but Guinness are a law to themselves. In the end I decided to be happy in the knowledge that I had put on more pairs of underpants than anyone else on the planet. Even though the original record was set in 2010 people still bring it up when I meet them and the TV Companies have kept my details as they know I’m game for a laugh.

In 2017 I appeared on the one and only series of Cannonball, a Saturday evening ITV show hosted by ex-England cricketer Freddie Flintoff. I made the final, even though I didn’t win I became the hero of my episode and star of Cannonball’s compilation show in December that year.

What next for Geordie Pantsman ? Who knows? I still have the pants. I’d love to take ‘Geordie’ to the Edinburgh Fringe or somewhere just as silly. Never say never.

Gary Alikivi  January 2020

 

 

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “The Story of the Geordie Pantsman

  1. I’ve known Gary, my biographer, for 45 years now and throughout our many wacky adventures I’d always tried to expand his consciousness at any opportunity. Instead, he expanded his underpantage. Well done tho’ – a well deserved great world record and a truly great effort.

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  2. He should still be the World Champ! Shame on you Guinness. Mind I wouldn’t like him to use my toilet. It would take ages for him to get all his pants down do the jobbie and get them up again.

    Liked by 1 person

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